I don't know wtf is wrong with my boyfriend. I made a delicious, badass, awesome chocolate cake last week. I went back to his house yesterday and it was still there, untouched. Who doesn't love delicious cake? Weirdo. Anyway, I brought it home with me. I was all, "aw, it's okay, cake, I'll give you a good home."
I just saw a commercial for match.com and the guy featured is a total doucher.
Okay, just saw another commercial with fucking RYAN O'REILLY! I love you, Dean Winters, and I miss seeing your fine ass on Oz. I know O'Reilly was thrown in the hole a few times, but I can't remember if I ever saw his penis. But then again, I saw so many penises on Oz, it's amazing I can differentiate any of them. O hai, Keller's dick :D
Speaking of Oz, there was a contestant on Hell's Kitchen this season (she got kicked off last week and I think her name was Maria), but she totally looked like JK Simmons. My boyfriend called her JK Simmons Face.
The season premiere of Obsessed is kinda boring. But then again nothing will ever top that first season episode where that chick had to scrape out her butthole with a toothbrush every time she pooped.